On My Wake

You might be thinking, what wake? This isn’t what you do after sleeping or of coming around after losing your common sense. I don’t do wakeboarding so don’t expect a sporty post here. This one refers to the gathering of friends and relatives after someone’s death, which in this story, is mine. 

Not for me, but perhaps for many, there is something about the idea of death that triggers the most negative emotions. Maybe because all they’ve seen in wakes and funerals were black clothes, crying and sad faces — some real, some not-so. Also, the combined scents of lilies, daisies, roses, orchids and other flowers usually found in funeral chapels horrify them. Mine is going to be delightfully different. This is how I want my wake to go down.

The Place. 

Not a chapel or a church. I don’t think this type of wake is allowed. It should be one where festive gatherings like weddings or birthdays are held. An events place not so expensive, not so cheap. Tables and chairs instead of pews. 

A photo of me is not mandatory, but would be nice. It would be great if it were a picture of me after I made my first hole-in-one in golf. As of this writing, it has yet to happen, but with my swings getting better every day, I am optimistic.

A frame should hang big and visible with the words:

“I love you guys so much. Don’t be too sad. I had a good run. Enough already. You won’t miss me, though. Just look up into the sky, you’ll see me there.” 

The Service.

Holy mass will be celebrated as it should. I wouldn’t want my new start to bridge my end any other way. But instead of a casket in front, my urn will be placed on a table at a corner of the room that is not too conspicuous as to steal the attention away from the Altar. I prefer cremation since it’s already allowed by the church. I mean, take your fancy between Earth fire that extinguishes and Hell fire eternal. I know, right?

The Food.

Coffee will be served with local kakanin like ube halaya, nilupak, and ginataang bilo-bilo — all my favorites, really. No kare-kare or adobong anything. No garlic or steamed rice. There’s a catch, though: instead of flowers, visitors must pay for the coffee and food. Paypal, ApplePay and GCash only will be accepted. No cash. No credit card swiping. If you bring your own cup, third serving is free.

Andre and Nikkei will cover the coffee service while my grand kids will wait on tables. Tip-giving will be allowed for the generous. For the NOT, face-to-Face, I will ask the Lord for mercy.

Or it can be a self-service thing where you clean after you go.

The Entertainment.

Anyone can go up in front to say a short story about me. No mic-hogging will be permitted — my family must have experienced pain with my passing already. Extended pain will be more difficult to bear. This is for last respects, remember? So yes, respect!

A hired guitarist/singer will provide live music featuring the songs of James Taylor, Don McLean and Bread. Alternate with a crooner singing James Ingram, Al Jarreau and Kenny Loggins. Without a speaker or entertainer on stage, music from the 70s will be piped in. I was contemplating on having a stand-up comedian but it may not be appropriate. Respect.

The Time.

Late afternoon on a weekend is probably the best for this perfect fit for merienda time. I will ask God for a little afternoon drizzle because it’s what made me feel good when I was still alive.

The Guest List.

I will invite anyone who knows me. Family, friends, colleagues, neighbors, and people who knew me through www.coffeecupreflections.com. Even if they are strangers, their presence will not be considered a breach of good manners as long as they pay for the coffee. If you didn’t like me, you can’t be included.


I know that this would cost a bit more than usual, but no worries, I was heavily insured. Take some from a payout, enough for a two-day wake. Make it three if the public insists. Charge more for the coffee. 

My wife Rissa is against this post saying she should go first. I told her, “Ok, but you’d miss the fun!”


That should be it. Hey, if you’ve outlived me, I’ll see you there.

When you sip your coffee, please think of me. And say, 


If you’ve been touched, amused, or entertained by this post, or it put a smile on your face, please favor me with a cup of coffee. I will continue writing.

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