My Unforgettable Newscaster Audition

Ahh, the New Year —a time for new beginnings, right? No, this post isn’t about resolutions for the new year. When the time is right and if I’ve resolved to cut procrastination, I might write something about resolutions. For this issue, let’s dive into a new beginning that I once dreamed would happen during its time —being a TV newscaster.

In the annals of auditions, mine for a newscaster role holds a special place —not for its success, but for its hilarious blunders. It happened during the time when my bangs were in a precarious wavy situation —half of them had decided to wave goodbye. Letting the bang-gones be bygones, I baldly walked into the audition room, cool on the outside, just a tad nervous within.

As I sat in front of the teleprompter, a mouthful came up —not words but saliva buildup. With each sentence, I struggled with the impending swallow, hoping to maintain my composure with a forced smile. I yakkity-yakked on, reading the news with an unintended dramatic flair, trying to cross Noli de Castro and Mike Enriquez with every syllable. Added a bit of Larry King, too —the hair, you know.

Now, my OOTD. While today’s newscasters don the classic black coat and tie combo, I opted for something more suitable for a beach party. Yes, you read that right. Hawaiian shirts and breaking news —what could go wrong?

What brought me to this memorable audition? A well-meaning friend who believed my dashing looks and English-American accent would kill it. In her eyes and ears, I was destined for the Best in Newscast Award, Summer Edition. I delivered the news with gusto, imagining CNN or BBC scouts lurking in the grandstand, ready to pirate me away for international stardom.

Sadly, the call from the global news giants never came. My dreams of acquiring a posh cockney accent were bloody stricken through. My friend, the talent scout, disappeared into the thin airwaves, leaving me with half a handful of bangs, a wardrobe malfunction, and the lingering taste of unsweetened saliva.

In the grand scheme of auditions, mine might not have been a success story, but it sure is a coffee tale to tell. Lesson learned? Sometimes, it’s the unexpected moments that make life truly entertaining, especially when you look back at them. I made them happen when I could. And who knows, maybe one day I’ll be the anchor of a news show for the elderly, Hawaiian shirt and all.

“Aloha viewers, before we start with the headlines —Please. Turn. Up. Your. Volume!”


If you’ve been touched, amused, or entertained by this post, or it put a smile on your face, please favor me with a cup of coffee. I will continue writing.

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